sailor_bardiel

thank-your-lucky-stars replied to your post: And after I’ve talked about how unfollows upset me…

Screw that person! Did you see my other reply about the follower tracker most people use now Xkit is crap? aljtmedia.com/stalkr/…

..

Yes I did! And I’m about to download it! Thanks, stars! (Can I call you that?) I’m sorry for kicking off I’m just being silly. Thanks for your first reply too. It really helps.

Thanks to Grandennui too!

I want to say this teal deer catharsis thing is only temporary I’m getting back to normal posting now.

But I do think it’s a bit douchy of that person to unfollow the moment I break format for a bit to unbottle some old poisonous feelings and feel freer.

Screw that person indeed!

You said it better than I could

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 11:32:23 am · 4 hours ago

And after I’ve talked about how unfollows upset me and I take them personally and it causes me to have episodes

a person has just unfollowed me!

Thanks, that person. That was really nice of you. Cheers.

Actually now I’ve had a bit of catharsis it doesn’t upset me as much as it would have an hour ago. But still-one of the reasons I’m always afraid to talk about these things is because I’m terrified people will unfollow me.

And voila!

I’ve just said about how unfollowing me without me knowing why hurts me and then someone unfollows me straight away

That was why I was saying all that I’m going to post pictures again in a minute I’m sorry because I was afraid people would unfollow me.

And someone just did.

What a lovely human being.

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 11:29:26 am · 4 hours ago

Oh that was a bit of catharsis. That stuff is stuff I’ve had bottled up inside me for literally years. (like about 10 years), I guess people unfollowing me isn’t really what upsets me at all.

Anyway back to the Monkees and Sailor Moon and pretty cottages in Norway and random sparkly glitter etc!

#teal deer attack #attack of the 50ft teal deer #teal deer 2 electric boogaloo

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 11:22:53 am · 4 hours ago

I’m sorry for the teal deer everyone I will get back to posting pics soon I promise, please bear with me-

And I didn’t have my diagnosis then so I didn’t have a word for what was wrong with me. So one time I looked at the forum again a couple of years later there was an ‘old posters’ thread and the three people who bullied me (the middle aged couple and the troll guy with mulltiple accounts~) mentioned me and started sneering at me and taking the piss and this devastated me and gave me pain right through the bottom of my stomach. That’s the only way to describe it. It was horrible. I’m pretty good at words but I have no words to describe how I felt then)

And I couldn’t re-register cos the board had made registering more difficult and you had to be moderator-approved so I couldn’t say anything. so Andy told them about my diagnosis (you know he never defended me or interfered originally because he took the view that I got myself into it I should get out of it myself and that I should sort my own messes out and he wasn’t getting involved. I was very upset and betrayed by that and I am still not happy about it-he said it was so I could deal with my own problems but I know he didn’t want to get involved because it would have made things awkward for him on the forum, yeah real nice of you there.)

And the troll guy said something like I’m sorry for her problems but what did she expect blah blah and the middle aged couple guy said ha ha avoidant loony (he literally said that)

Really that’s the best you can do? Loony? Was that really the best insult you could think of?

How about respectable middle aged people bullying someone like fucking small children? That’s indicative of sterling mental health is it?

Needless to say I couldn’t talk about my problems in public because you admit you have problems you paint a big target on your back.

I’ll probably delete this after a bit. Had to get it out.

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 11:11:54 am · 5 hours ago

Do you know Tumblr is the first place I’ve been able to bring myself to actually talk about my Avpd publically? That’s because I had very bad experiences on a very laddish car-themes forum that my bf used to post on so I like an idiot went and posted on there too.

And once the posters twigged that I was pretty thin skinned and sensitive like only an Avoidant person can be, well not to put a fine point on it they started bullying me with great gusto. Because a very sensitive person with low self esteem who doesn’t react very well to ribbing (the board culture was very geared to ribbing and jocular insults which is fine if everyone is on board with it but when someone quickly proves not be on board with it then the ribbing turns rapidly into bullying) is just plumb hil-diddly-arious!

I mean the whole reason my psyche was in that state in the first place was because of year of bullying at school. And it was the same damn mentality! Tease someone and when they don’t like it bully them mercilessly because a senstive person with low self esteem being upset is fucking hilarious

Why did I keep posting on that board for so long? I can’t understand it now. Needless to say after a couple of very nasty incidents I finally stopped. (there was a horrible one with the resident troll pretending to be my friend and then using that to attack me even worse. he said something like “what did you expect you silly bitch lol”)

And there was a thread on there where someone was saying that Asian children dying in a house fire was good because that meant less of them in this country (oh yeah this forum was pretty right wing and racist) and I disagreed vehemently like this, and that same troll another time was talking about left wing scum and I said actually I’m left wing scum and I think that’s a reason why that person targetted me for bullying.

Yeah like I was trying to make him see sense? And see that people with different politics to him were not demons? And he basically used his troll alt account to bully and harrass me until I finally left? All the while while pretending to be my friend?

And I poured my heart out before I left explaining why it hurt so much and why I had problems and my bullying and so on and the first post?

Raven (me) thrown her teddies out the pram again.

“throwing your teddies out the pram” is a phrase used to ridicule people who are kicking off. I poured my heart out to them and the first post was just more ridicule. These people were literally evil. Abusive, stupid, nasty. And most of them had kids. Heaven help those kids.

They were supposed to be mature adults. But it was the same damn mentality as the five year olds in the playground. A middle aged couple carried out a campaign of harrassment on me on that forum and I still don’t know why.

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 10:52:34 am · 5 hours ago

Having read the xkit guy’s blog I find out that yes, essentially the delta checker was removed because of immature people causing drama. I agree that people like that suck, but why penalise those of us who weren’t causing drama like idiots?

The shrieking drama llamas I can guarantee would have been a very small but vocal minority. The vast majority of users would have been sensible and mature about it.

*is frantically googling for a xkit6 download link, can’t bloody find it yet*

The trouble is, if I don’t know who or why unfollowed me I do kinda take it personally. It upsets me. That’s what you get for being an Avoidant PD person with ultra low self esteem. And then I get the screaming heebeeejees about it and it causes arguments with bf. And then it’s a night of stony silence punctuated with the occasional choked sob….

I know it’s stupid to take it personally but I kind of do.

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 10:38:16 am · 5 hours ago

I’m going to see if I can redownload the old xkit so I can get my unfollower checker back.

Seriously? Knowing someone has unfollowed and not knowing why or who really really bugs me. If someone has unfollowed I’ll be damned if I’m going to keep following them. I want to be able to hit the ‘unfollow’ button asap! And no I don’t cause drama. I just unfollow. That’s all.

I really hate that the xkit people took this decision on my behalf.

#xkit

testytrue

June 14th 2013, 10:31:56 am · 5 hours ago

Great I see I have an unfollower so I go to check delta checker only to find it isn’t there anymore since the last update.

You know, that unfollower checker is the whole damn reason why I downloaded xkit in the first place.

Why the hell did they remove it?

Might as well delete it then. The other features are cute but non-essential. The unfollower checker is what I wanted it for.

Thanks a bundle.

#delta checker #II bet they removed it cos it was causing drama or somesuch crap #you cant treat us like adults can you #xkit #to say I am peeved right now would be an understatement

oh god..the back in the day this was so much better nostalgia nonsense..I keep reading these on YT...Back in the 70s all the old heads from the 50s and 60s were saying vehemently how this sucked and how much better it was in their day! It only seems better because you have good memories associated with it! It's got nothing to do with things being better or worse now! There's great music and rubbish in every time.

........

Every old song on YT, there's some dimbulb going this is all about when songs had class/were fun/weren't trashy like now/when there were no serial killers and life was uncomplicated and women knew their place (ha ha)etc, it's complete bullshit! When people say that about 80s songs I think back to that time which I remember because I Am That Old and I remember how the old farts were always moaning about how the then- modern music was shit and wasn't made with real instruments/had no soul/all the bands were talentless pretty boys etc.

And now I constantly see on YT endless messages saying the same thing about the same music that the generations before them slagged off for not being like the 60s and 50s music! It is such bullshit! The very music that these people are moaning about now will be praised in a idiotic glow of nostalgia 20 years from now by the people who are babies and zygotes now and they will whine about how shit the new music is...and so on and so on.

God, people are stupid.

[info]shadowcatphaser
2011-09-06 10:30 am UTC (link) DeleteTrack This
I never understand this 'end precure and make something new' thing when Precure *is new every year* with the yearly reboots. The only thing carried over is the use of the "Cure Something" names. That's it. New universes, new rules, new characters, every year. In the unlikely event that Toei was to end a very successful and profitiable franchise 'to do something new', it would be no different, just the 'cure' names wouldn't be there anymore. The miniscule difference would be hardly worth the effort.

And as someone said earlier, there's been no confirmation there's to be a Doremi 16 anime. There may be, is all. Don't you think all the 'omg Doremi 16 is replacing Precure' stuff is just a tad premature? And as many have said, if there is an anime, it will be aimed at a different demographic to Precure and you know, Toei is capable of running more than one franchise at once!

The sky is not falling. Precure will most probably outlive all of us. (I actually really believe that. When you consider how long Super Sentai has been going!)

(Reply to this)


[info]shadowcatphaser
2011-09-06 10:43 am UTC (link) DeleteTrack This
Comment Posted Successfully
Oh yeah and precure isn't going to 'go stale' because guess what? We the older fans are not who Precure is for! Guess what.....it's an amazing fact...*gasp* it's for *little Japanese girls*....not us. It's selling toys to little Japanese girls that is the reason for the franchise's existence. Us older fans can pontificate all we like about how we think it's going stale and it's not artistically pure anymore etc.

But Precure is *not for us*. It never was! We can enjoy it, but it's damn arrogant to demand a series that is enjoyed by successive generations of young children end because we don't think it's pandering to our adult story watching sensibilities.

The audience won't get sick of it. Because the primary demographic is new every 2-3 years. With the new generations of little girls (and boys!) coming up. That's the whole point. Precure is for them, not us.

If you want something more adult and innovative might I suggest you watch an anime aimed at teenagers/adults because honestly, not to be snarky, I think Precure genuinely isn't for you (in a personal taste sense not a demographic one_ and you just don't get it.



------

That demonraiser is always going on about 'end precure it's going stale blah blah' He just doesn't get it! This arrogance from older fans who aren't even who the series is aimed at..oh it's a pet peeve of mine.
(Reply to this)

The EC quest deadline in EC is reminding me of why I quit CW. Too much stress, too little time to complete things. I am sure it was a deliberate strategy to get you to either add strangers or pay cash. Very cynical. The last straw was when my 'complete quests slowly and methodically, give priority to limited time ones' was undermined by them making LT quests that meant I had to have completed non-LT quests (equipment building)

That completely fucked everything up. I couldn't get the LT recipes because I hadn't completed the second deep fryer/pizza oven/whatever. That "do everything slowly and methodically in order" policy was the only thing that made the stressfest that was cw bearable. And there they were totally making that impossible too.

That's when I knew I had to quit. They were actively making it impossible for me to play.

And it was a wrench, although less of a wrench than I thought it would be. Even so I did have withdrawal from it, and I did miss it. Even now I sometimes think of the dishes I didn't get to master and I get a little pang.

I sometimes look at the cw forum to see what's happening and there is just as much stressful six billion quests going on at once as before. That confirms that quitting was the right thing to do. It's just a shame that's all, because there were aspects of the game I really enjoyed, and there is no other game like it. All other restaraunt games just have one or two dishes to serve, and I never could get into Restaraunt City.

But another reason I quit was it just took up too much time. With the checking regularly to see the food didn't spoil and the keeping the counters filled. You couldn't ever turn it off. It was consuming hours every day. And with FV and Cityville as well, and the stress of remembering when I planted crops in those games, it was just too much. And it caused endless arguments with a, who thought I was addicted and it was unhealthy. (yeah maybe he was right....it still added extra stress that I didn't need)

When I was away from home and couldn't play I actually felt anxiety and regret about it. It is a nasty insidious game. FV is similar to a degree, but the difference between playing one of these games and three is huge.

I tried Frontierville once and never went back because I knew that having four games on the go with wither/spoil on was just too much, I just couldn't do it. Perhaps I could go back to it now. But I am really reluctant to shackle myself to yet another insidious addiction-maker.

Also when you quit the games you can get some neighbours that you were pressurised into adding bitching because you quit. Oh wtf? If I quit the game it's my fucking decision, unfriend me and friend someone else, it's not hard. I don't have any responibility to you. Fuck off. Agh.

Okay I'll revisit my precure world thoughts after half a year of Suite or so.

1. You don't necessarily have to have the word Cure in your magical girl codename to be a cure. (Milky Rose, Shiny Luminous) Although the rule up to this point was "if she's not human she doesn't have the 'cure' title in her name" (Milky is a mascot in human form, Luminous is a big creepy cgi queen-goddess thing's human form) But this has now been jossed by Cure Beat, who is a mascot in human form like Milky Rose.

Now admittedly Siren (the cat) seems to have become Ellen (the human girl) permenantly and she seems to have lost her cat form for good. But the fact is, until Beat, the rule was 'if she's not born human she doesn't get to be called Cure something". So I was smugly and imperiously nursing this little rule as An Immutable Rule Of Precure for all time and now Cure Beat has blown it out of the water.

I'm kind of a bit irked by that because I actually rather liked that rule for some reason. Then again, being human isn't that special. (I didn't like it when the Amazon Trio in Sailormoon Super S were revealed as not having souls/not being able to dream because they were really animals. Human-glorifying specieist poppycock! I don't know about fishes but I am pretty sure that tigers at least dream in real life. Their cousins domestic cats certainly do!)

2. There is actually no reason why a boy can't be a cure. Although it will never happen. (the series is for little Japanese girls. They don't want icky boys in their anime!) Although it is rather odd really if you think of it logically why there are magically powered males on the villain side but not on the heroic side. But like I say, it will never happen. (the reformed Wester and Souther in Fresh or Coupe's human form in Heartcatch is probably as close as we will get.)

-the colour thing. Will we ever get an orange cure? Pine and Sunshine are sort of borderline orange. But they are usually classed as yellow. We need an orange cure, also a teal/aquamarine one. We really need more black cures. Masked muse doesn't really count, as it isn't her final, 'official cure form'. And Dark Precure kind of doesn't count either as I class her as a minor cure like Flower and Ange. (Heartcatch seemed to have a lot of these. We nearly had another in Tsubomi's sister Futaba, but we never got to see her Cure form, unfortunately!)
r

Dear neighbours,


After what is actually literally months of agonising I have blocked Cafe World. This latest thing with a limited time catering order and three limited time goal chains? I just cannot do it. End of. And when I miss LT recipes I actually get depressed. It is causing anxiety and depression and affecting my real life. Time for it to go bye bye.


I have been enslaved by that game for six months, time to get my life back. Those of you who only play CW, feel free to unfriend me. I will be continuing with Farmville though. (that is not as horrifically stressful..yet)


I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I was enjoying CW a lot, but the constant pressure to add neighbours/and/or pay cafe cash is just too much. It's not enjoyable anymore.


To those of you I played the game with, I enjoyed it very much and thankyou. I'm sorry to be letting you down but I just can't do it anymore. Sorry.

Well I have hardly visited second life at all since the Zynga games took hold. I went in today for another cursory visit. It would be good if you could have a space of your own to customize as you can in Farmville in Second Life. Yes, you can have land, if you pay for it. In farmville you have a customizable space for free. And even if you do buy land in SL, you can't do hardly anything with it because you're limited to the number of prims you can use. And the cheapest space you can get is a tiny house you can do nothing with.

Everything in SL you have to pay for, and apart from that, there's really nothing to do in SL. You just wander around and look at ugly blocky graphics that are really beginning to look their age as far as graphics go. It's a shame because I still think the potential of SL is huge. But it looks like crap, (used to look better,but graphics have moved on!) is boring as hell, and it's too inaccessible. I don't know how to build stuff, too technical. And if you want anything you have to pay for it. Fuck that.

I would love to have something like Farmville in 3d. *sigh*.

I struggle in vain to find some actually historically accurate medieval stuff in SL. Of course it's all renfair/fantasy crap. I wasn't there of course, but I am pretty sure there was nobody wandering around in chainmail bikinis in the real middle ages. Try wimples and gowns that covered everything other than the face. Anybody wandering around in a stupid chainmail bikini in the real middle ages would have been thrown into prison as a madwoman/strumpet. It's such bullshit.

It sucks, because SL's potential for historically accurate recreations is great. But the only 'medieval' stuff is renfair bullshit. agh. The real middle ages? Did not feature fairies, dragons (except in heraldry), plunging necklines, pegasi, unicorns, or bloody turkey legs. (turkeys were in North America which hadn't been "discovered" yet. (as far as Europe was concerned).

The real middle ages are far more interesting than all that fantasy renfair crap. Bah.

and yet another interesting thread is about to be lost to The Curlcoat Show. Guys, please just all put her on ignore and let the idiot rant away to herself about how the
e evil poor people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

When I read the op I thought "Curlcoat is going to show up and drone on for 50 million posts about how its their fault for breeding without being rich" and lo and behold..like the bad penny she turns up. Now this thread is dead in the water because hyou guys just keep on arguing with her and not ignoring her like you should!

It is like arguing with a brick wall. Exercise in futility. Just put her on ignore people! ~And lets get this actually interesting thread back on track. Don't want to lose this one to The Curlcoat Show like the kindergarten sharing thread.
Edit/Delete Message

I really should drop the zynga games. They take up far too much time of every day. I haven't been able to go out twice this week because I was literally spending hours in the morning playing the z games with my three logins.

And now the farmville english countryside which I had been looking forward to? turns out you need at least 4 friends to get the second farm. No. I am not adding any more strangers. (That was far too stressful with my avoidance, and with my anger and bitterness issues about certain life circumstances that I can't have...when they start posting about that it's going to hurt me. Just no.)

And I am not creating any more logins.You have to draw the line somewhere. Or it's just going to get ridiculous.

I think I should drop farmville. I keep saying I'll drop Cityville but I keep going back.

Shit. I want to be free of those things.

The things I would like to re-discover in the old sailor moon based web rpgs-


Sailor Tabris II. All I remember is that she had pink hair in twin tails, green eyes, wore a Sailor Moon Manga-style mask as a senshi, had thick glasses in civilian form and had four brothers named after the Beatles. Also I have her symbol (a compass thing with arrows) and I know the name of her attack "Tabris opposing arguments".

I would so dearly love to know her real name and see her profile again. Trouble is, I think her site was only up a few weeks. Too soon for the Wayback Machine to archive it. It disappeared after about three weeks as I recall. It was odd, the player got accepted into the rpg but then he or she just vanished. It was strange.

I have racked my brains (that's such a gross phrase when you think of it) trying to remember her real name but I can't! After much straining my subconcious has dredged up the name "Shannon Freer". Is that her name? I don't know, may not be at all. Why didn't I write it down at the time? The fact is she is the only Sailor Angel I don't have the complete facts on. (or near complete-Nathaniel is also only partially known [because she had been and gone and her site was no more when I discovered the rpg], but at least I have her real name!)

I would also like to know the facts on Julianna Hart, the Shamshiel who was accepted but then disappeared so she didn't get in after all. (frustratingly she had no website and so therefore no info other than her name!) Since this would be the nearest thing we will ever have to a real Sailor Shamshiel, any info on her would be lovely, but that's deeply unlikely to ever happen.

Needless to say, any info on Nathaniel is still the holy grail.